The world was my oyster...

"The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork." - Oscar Wilde

Although using the incorrect utensil in important social settings is only a minor faux pas, there are several other ways to go wrong. One of the student organizations on campus, the Student Alumni Connection, which is essentially the student arm of the CSU Alumni Association, hosts an annual etiquette dinner, and I learned quite a bit. Unless you sit around reading Emily Post, you'll probably learn something too! 


The Keynote speaker for the program was Debra Fine, a best selling author. Once the overweight, shy, nervous engineering student, Debra realized a generally universal truth: engineers and other technically oriented professionals are really horrible at communication. She decided to captitalize on the need she saw, and is now nationally recognized as an etiquette leader, public speaker and story of motivation. She was incredibly straight forward and blunt with our audience of mostly undergraduate students, but everything she said was completely relevant and useful. Okay, now for what I learned (and what I'm copying off of the worksheet provided.) [For clarification, her ideas are in bold.]


Top Ten Etiquette Tips
#1: Treat others well. I heard Colin Powell speak (really fantastic!), but he shared a little story about his stint as Secretary of State: One afternoon, bored in his office, he decided to wander around and chat with different workers throughout the building. He ended up in the parking garage. In the garage, the attendants had to park three times as many cars as there were parking spots. Once General Powell started talking to them, he asked them his most pressing question, "How do you determine who gets to park where? How do you decide if their car gets stuck behind other ones or not?" The guys, who were all immigrants from varying countries, kind of chuckled and looked at their feet. Finally, one said, "General Powell, if the person rolls down their window and says hello when they pull in the garage, they get the best spot. But if they don't even acknowledge us, they have to wait to leave."  


#2: Sitting. Do not sit in your seat until your host has done so. If there is no host, wait for the senior or oldest person at the table to sit first before you sit in your seat.


#3: Start on the Outside. Have more utensils at your seat than you normally use in a week? Don't worry, just start from the outside and work your way in! Salad? Left most fork (if it's the first thing served), and dessert (my personal favorite,) uses the fork closest to the plate! No need to memorize that, though, just work from the outside in.


#4: Build Bridges, Not Ramps. I was never aware that there was a proper etiquette for silverware placement, but, alas, there is. Once you begin to use a utensil, it should never again touch the table. Do not lean half of it on the plate, half on the table. Rather, build bridges across your plate, so the utensil is resting on the two edges of your plate/bowl/etc. When finished, place the knife and fork together in the center of the plate at the five o'clock position to let your server know you are done eating. If you are eating at my house, however, get up and take your plate to the sink.


#5: Napkins. Tucking your napkin into your shirt not only looks weird, but is 'never acceptable' behavior when dining. Napkins go on your lap immediately once you have sat down. Your napkin should be completely unfolded, but then folded in half once. The binding/crease of the napkin goes towards your belt, the open end towards your feet. If you need to excuse yourself from the table, place the napkin on the seat, and it signals you are planning on returning. If you are leaving the table for good, I don't know what you do with your napkin, but I do not suggest swinging at around your head like a cowboy. Not classy.


#6: Placing Your Order. Most everyone loves being taken out for a meal, and most everyone hates taking people out for meals, only to have them order the most expensive dish. Don't be that guy. So, obviously, do not order the most expensive dish or "worse still do not ask the host how much you can spend. Follow the hosts lead when ordering, and order no more dishes than he or she does. Asking what they recommend is a good trick, but avoid dishes you have never tried.


#7: Cutting your Food. I blame it on my parents for always cutting all of my spaghetti in one go, instead of cutting each individual bite for me, but I'll let it slide. The knife is to be used with the fork, not knife, then fork. Cut one bite, eat one bite. (Remember to bridge your knife!)


#8: Starting to Eat. Unless you are the host, your meal is indebted to the host. Do not pick up your fork until they begin to eat. It does not matter if your food is getting cold. You will not die. Also, wait until everybody has been served before chowing down. If at a large banquet, the host may indicate you may begin eating before everybody is served, and if so, have at it.


#9: Spitting Food Out. Whether you are trying something new, or utilizing the "chew some food then spit it out to make it look like you ate some" method, there is a proper way to handle discreetly removing food from your mouth. Discreetly and cleanly remove the food in whichever way the food entered your mouth. This may get tricky with rice and chopsticks, but you should have thought about that before you stuck it in your mouth, now shouldn't have you?


#10: Bread and Butter. I suppose this goes to other dishes being passed, and is just plain kindnes. When passing the bread basket, offer some to the person on your left, and then begin passing to the right. That's it. No tricks.








I feel as though this should cover my obligatory Sunday post (which hasn't happened in about four months), but I'll post more to make up for it! I think I'll humor you with more etiquette because I just found another worksheet! Weeeee.






All information in bold can be found at www.DebraFine.com . Most commentary is based off of ideas from the materials found on the site, and some of it is from my pure comic genius.